I just wish I had the balls to say hi. That hi could have changed my future. And yet, it could have changed absolutely nothing. I’d never know. Because I never tried.
I just had this strong realization. Throughout these past couple of weeks, I’ve grown hateful of her. I felt abandoned. I felt hopeless. I felt replaced. Most of all, I felt so hurt.
But I’ve come to realize something. If there was anything I would die to see, it would be for me to see her happy. Fortunately for her, she has found happiness. It may not be with me, but, nevertheless, she managed to find it. And as unbelievable as it sounds, I’m extremely happy for her.
Our time together had come and passed. It had been nearly 9 months since the day we called it off. For the past couple of months, I recollected all of the memories we made together and hoarded them. Day after day since then, I replayed them in my mind like broken records, looking for moments where I should have been a better boyfriend. And I have to admit: many of our arguments started because I was too stupid to realize how hurtful my actions could be.
But I need to let it go. It probably is foolish for me to be writing this on my public blog, but it’s not like anyone pays attention to my blog anyway!
She found someone else, probably someone who I think will be more fitting for her than I could ever have been. I hold no animosity to either of them now. Truly, from the deepest end of my heart, I hope that their attraction will flourish into something better for both of them.
I loved her like a boyfriend loves a girlfriend. But I also love her like someone loves their best friend. I may have nothing to do with her life now, but I seriously want all the best for her—so that she may find happiness in places I couldn’t fill.
I really hope that we can be friends again one day. Until then, I wish her all the luck in the world!
